One Piece: The Will of D

It has been twenty-four hours since Tommy Dickles, age 14 ½, first learned that Don Krieg had escaped the Fright Side Mental Ward, “There’s a mad man on the loose!” Tommy said about sixteen hours ago, “He slashed open the ball pit at the Mental Ward,” Denly the phallic stick-figure said shortly after.

However it was Friday so everyone decided to not care and watch JoJo--but this was a calculated calculation by none other than Commodore Don Krieg.

“Whom?” Farley asked before the intro smashed through the wall of the castle’s Game Room.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCTTze…

Tommy gathered everyone who cared about Don Krieg's disappearance. Those who gathered were, Tommy, Denly, Aoi, Shakre and Farley, forced to a chair.

“Alright, some mentally unstable-” Tommy cleared his throat. “I mean, some guy with an actual mental illness-” Tommy rubbed his neck. “Ah jeez, how about uh… Yeah Don Krieg is suicidal. He might drive off a bridge!”

Denly raised his hand. “Actually, I think he’s planning on coming to kill us.”

Tommy shrugged. “Why? What makes you say that?”

A rock smashed through the window into the Game Room. Denly picked up a note and read it out loud. “I AM DON KRIEG! I WILL SEIZE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE! WHICH IS THE CASTLE I THROW THE ROCK IN!”  

Farley rolled his eyes. “Jeez! Can’t we have a villain who threatens suicide and actually means it!?”

Everyone in the room gathered by the window to peek out and witness the group standing out front of their castle.

“I AM DON KRIAagh--” Don Krieg said through a microphone too loudly so there was an irritating ring. He angrily adjusted it to a more proper tone, “I AM DON KRIEG! SURRENDER THE CASTLE TO ME NOW AND I WILL LIE ABOUT SPARING YOUR LIVES!”

Behind Don Krieg were several old foes of Neo Scary Godmother. There was IGPHhangout wearing the Ordon shield over his face, Chase “Red Hair” Bolivar, Peter D. Locke, and Alecks Alphabetical Martin Mystery Weird Al-Yankovic Megatron Charisma Cruz "Colonel Cummies" From Unfriended whom was mounted on a super albino lama.

There were also new enemies such as the less popular Red Man Group dressed all in white, Elie from Rave Master’s retarded sister, ELEE and the world's most dangerous mercenary, Eric The Whirlwind. Eric however, didn’t actually show up. It was just a cardboard cutout.

Don Krieg looked at the cutout of Eric. “IF ONLY MY BROTHER ERIC WAS ACTUALLY HERE! ASSHOLE DROWNED.”

For the next five minutes, we are going to do a slideshow of Eric The Whirlwind.

Thank you for waiting, now back to our regularly scheduled programing.

“OH HAMBURGER HELPER ON A SHITSTICK!” Yelled Tommy.

“I have a question.” shouted Denly.

“WE WI-WAIT, WHAT?!?” Don Krieg replied softly.

“This rock says that you will invade the castle that this rock was thrown into, right?” Denly replied.

Don Krieg looked like he was about to sneeze, “YEAH, SO?”

As he said this Denly drew a big muscle arm and tossed the rock into the neighboring castle that looked like Bob’s Burgers from that one show. “So do we still have to fight?”


“WELL YES. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THE NOTE YOU WOULD SE THAT THE ROCK APPLIES TO HAVING ME BEEN THROWNING IT!” Don Krieg said via second rock thrown into the castle.

“OH HAMBURGER HELPER ON A SHITSTICK!” Tommy yelled again.

The Red Man Group used IGPHhangout’s shielded face to attempt to burst down the castle gates. After many attempts, IGPHhangout fell to the ground covered in blood and bruises. The door was not scratched.

“MAYBE… JUST MAYBE…” Chase chuckled. “I’ll summon a lightning bolt to smite the door down!”

“GOOD IDEA!” Said Peter D. Locke. “DOOO IT!”

Chase got down on his knees and began to pray. “Give it time… God shall smite these lost souls…”

Peter D. Locke frowned as the womp sound effect played. Peter D. Locke pushed a red button and the gates opened.

“HOLY SHIT PETER! YOU ARE A MATHEMATICAL GENIUS! SCREW BUS BOY, YOU’RE NOW VICE CAPTAIN OF MY CREW!” Said Don Krieg.

ELEE charged in and was gunned down by a thug who previously broke into the castle. The thug managed to steal Tommy’s new Vita he had just hacked.

“Uh…” Don Krieg itched his bum, “CHARGE!”

“HOLY SHIT!” Farley cried from the top of the castle, in the broom closet, looking over the camera feed, “If they get through the main hall they’ll get to Shakre, if they get through Shakre they’ll get to Spilled Ketchup, if they get through Spilled Ketchup they’ll get to OTFree, if they get through OTFree they could find my hiding spot!”

The Red Man group were the first three to enter the main hall but they were greeted by none other than Alberto coming around the corner, “Sheeeit, didn’t think I’d actually cross paths.”

The Red Man group then began to use interpretive dance to intimidate Alberto however Alberto already shot one of the Red Men causing the other two to flee.

“Oh gee,” Peter D. Locke said to Don Krieg, “they’ve got a gun! Maybe we should come back after IGPH’s shield has had time to heal.”

Denly heard the word gun and pre-emptively shot Farley in the shoulder to be safe. Farley was not pleased with his current predicament, “YOU BITCH WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOOTING ME?!?”

Don Krieg sighed and shot Peter in the head with his own gun, “That’s a very valid point, Vice Captain.” Don looked to the others still left by his side, “NOW ARE THERE ANY OTHER COMPLAINTS OR ARE YOU GONNA RAPE THAT PURPLE HAIRED KID!?”

Chase is still praying. “I”LL PRAY SO HARD… GOD WILL GIVE ME A SPECIAL BOY SEAT IN HEAVEN! ...NO! SUPER HEAVEN!”

Alecks road in on his super albino Llama attempting to use three sword style. He dropped one sword and decided to dual wield. “I FINALLY HAVE MY TIME TO SHINE!”

Suddenly, a man with a top hat and a cape walked into the castle holding flowers. “Hello there. I see you are all having a party?”

“A PARTY OF YOUR DEATH!” Shouted Don Krieg pointing his gun to the man in the top hat.

“OH SHIT IT’S A RAID ON THE CASTLE! I, REN GOD OF HUMOR, AM OUT!” Said Ren dropping the flowers he was holding and ran before he could get hurt.

Don Krieg fired the bullet, but the bullet missed Ren.

“Fuck…” Said Don. “WE’LL KILL HIM LATER!” Said Don.

Standing in the hallway was Aoi, with a pocket knife.
“AH! THE SWORDSMEN! THAT MUST MEAN I HAVE TO-” Alecks said as he tried to toss his sword into the air and catch it to look cool. Unfortunately he whiffed and one of the blades was lodged into his sternum. Aoi laughed at him.

“Hey Dod!” Tommy yelled to Don Krieg, “you’re a poopy pants!”

That sudden distraught sound from One Piece played has Don Krieg looked at Tommy with shocked, widened eyes, “You bastard! You had your chance! It’s time for my secret weapon!” Don Krieg put his fingers in his mouth in order to whistle--he just made a fart sound effect though. The que? was still given and the sound of a car could be heard approaching, “Here comes my ultimate weapon!”

“Oh h-hamburgers,” Tommy said before texting an order for pizza.

SuDenly, Kirby the Love Bug began to drive up from the horizon, “HERE IS THE INSTRUMENT OF YOUR DOOM!” Don Krieg yelled, “THE AUTHOR OF YOUR PAIN! THE TURNING POINT OF MY--” without warning Kirby exploded. Don stood quietly in disbelief.

“It wasn’t me I swear!” Tommy said honestly.

“I KNOW!” Don Krieg yelled back angrily.

“Well who was it?” Tommy asked.

“The car itself,” Don Krieg groaned.

“DID SOMEBODY SAY AUTHOR?” OTFree yelled while stealing food out of Shakre’s fridge, “I’M ONE OF THOSE! THAT MUST MEAN IT’S TIME FOR MY ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!”

And so OTFree used his ultimate technique to warp the fabric of reality into his own image. Unfortunately he wasn’t feeling all too creative at the moment, so instead he ended up plagiarizing one of Tommy’s earlier fanfics.

After one whole month of training. Hannah, Bert, Bugaboo, and Kurama were trained by Genkai to become stronger to fight in the World Tournament.

“”First off, it’s Dark Tournament, not World Tournament,” Tommy yelled as he slapped the fanfic out of OTFree’s hands, “Second, stop reading fanfics in the middle of our fanfic. You’re ruining our story.”

“OH, WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO?” OTFree said before running on the battlefield.

“HEY DON KRIEG, CAN I JOIN YOUR ARMY TO TAKE DOWN NSGM?” OTFree said.

“Wait, what? You know what I’m not even going to question anything at this point YES OTFREE YOU MAY JOIN MY CAUSE TO LIBERATE THIS CASTLE OF NSGM!”

“YOU DO HAVE TENDIES!? RIGHT!?” Said OTFree.

“What? NO! THAT’S RETARD FOOD.” Said Don Krieg.

OTFree turned around, stopped smiling and walked back into the castle. Don Kreig frowned.

A small breeze of wind came by and knocked the cardboard cut out of Eric the Whirlwind. Don Krieg stood there looking around at the ruins of his siege, “Wait, the catapult from seventh grade physics!” Don Krieg bent down to his backpack, pulled out the mini catapult, prepared it, and launched and egg at the first floor of the castle.

“Okay, that was rude,” said Tommy.

Don Krieg groaned, “GOD DAMN IT!” he stomped on his B- assignment and thought for a moment, “TOMMY! BECAUSE I, DON KRIEG, AM SUCH A GENEROUS WARLORD! I HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE DESPITE THE ODDS BEING AGAINST YOU! COME DOWN HERE FOR A ONE ON ONE FIGHT FOR THE CASTLE!”

Denly drew himself into existence in front of Don Krieg.

“NO, NOT YOU! I DEMAND TOMMY!” Don Krieg yelled…

“Yeah, tommy said I should fight in his stead or else I don’t get any Good Boy Points. So what do you want?”

“I CHALLENGE YOU TO A ONE ON ONE ROUND OF COMBAT TO DECIDE WHO THE VICTOR OF THIS SIEGE WILL BE” Don Krieg said via third rock.

“Okay, I challenge you to a rock throwing contest. Whoever can throw this rock with your note on it from earlier into that castle over there first wins. You go first.” Denly handed him the rock that totally wasn’t the same rock from before.
“PRAYING...SO...HAAARD!” Chase was turning blue.

“GIVE ME THAT ROCK!” Don Krieg took the rock with the note on it and through it all the way across town. The sound of glass shattering could be heard, “HA! I THREW IT FIRST!”

“Cool,” said Denly, “wait here until today’s pizza gets here and we’ll let you in.”

“Fine,” Don Krieg said, “I will eat pizza in MY new castle when it gets here!”

A minute later the Romanians from down the road marched up outside of Fright Side castle. They wore crimson and black horned armor and pikes with their victims impaled on it.

“Who the hell are you chodes?” Don Krieg asked.

The head Romanian pulled out the rock with the note on it, “Who threw the rock?”

“I DID! I AM DON KRIEG AND THE CASTLE BELONGS TO ME!” Don Krieg yelled.

The head Romanian dropped the rock with the note reading, ‘I AM DON KRIEG! I WILL SEIZE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE! WHICH IS THE CASTLE I THROW THE ROCK IN!’

“Get him,” the head Romanian said.

Two Romanians wearing skull masks grabbed Don Krieg by the arms, “Wh-what are you doing!? Hey, stop it! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I AM DON KRIEG! I AM THE PIRATE KING! RELEASE ME BEFORE I--Wait, what’re you doing with that stick! HEY STOP! WAIT! NOOOaughh REEHAGAGH!”

The head Romanian snapped his fingers, “Also your Pizza’s ready, here.”

“Cool,” said Tommy.

“Wait, the hell are you doing?” Said one of the Romanians wearing a skull mask, looking at Don Krieg hitting himself on the head with a stick.

Tommy rolled his eyes. He pulled out his phone. “Hello, Doc? Yeah Kreig is here. Can you take him back? Cool. Thanks!”

So Strongarm, who wasn’t in this fanfic, alongside Aoi, dragged the man into Denly’s converted shopping kart. They drove him back to the mental ward.

Don Krieg, whom was tied up in his room looked at an ant who crawled in.  The ant began to chew away at his straps.

“WHAT THE FUCK? AGAIN? YOU’RE LATE MR. ANT. OH YOU BROUGHT YOUR FRIENDS!?” Said Don as more ants crawled on him. “I COMMAND YOU ALL TO FOLLOW UNDER MY FEET AS YOU TAKE ME TO THE TOP!”

One of the nurses peaked in the window. “There’s… no ants?”

Don Krieg began laughing hysterically.

The End.

…


Suddenly, in front of Chase, a spark of light flickered. “Did it work? God!? Was that your message? Have those jerks been punished?”

Farley walked out with a flashlight and a tennis racket. “GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!” as he threw a baseball at Chase. Chase scurried off.

Written by Johnny Shankford, for Miss Miller's class.

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